Ah the Irish.

For all the budding and experienced humorists, poets and comical verse lovers!

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grandduke
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Ah the Irish.

Post by grandduke » 19 Mar 2015, 07:36

• Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.
"Quick!" he said.
"Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!"
"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked.
"No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'." :heeheehee
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”
George Bernard Shaw

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godfather
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by godfather » 19 Mar 2015, 20:34

Just love the Irish and their humour.
Anymore GD?

\:D/ \:D/ \:D/
The devil whispered, “You cannot withstand the storm“ and I replied: “I am the storm!”.....Unknown.

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grandduke
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by grandduke » 19 Mar 2015, 21:39

To be sure to be sure.
• Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”
George Bernard Shaw

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lighthouse
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by lighthouse » 20 Mar 2015, 15:32

godfather wrote:Just love the Irish and their humour.
Anymore GD?

\:D/ \:D/ \:D/
An Irishman was flustered not being able to find a parking space in a large mall's parking lot.

"Lord,"he prayed,"I can't stand this.If you open a space up for me,I swear I'll give up drinking me whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday."

Suddenly, the clouds parted and the sun shone on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man said,"Never mind,I found one."

:good_luck
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. ”
Helen Keller

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lynny
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by lynny » 21 Mar 2015, 10:03

Haha!!! Nice one Lighthouse. \:D/

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lighthouse
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by lighthouse » 21 Mar 2015, 12:33

Did you hear Ireland’s solved their unemployment problem? You don’t leave school till you are 65… :lol: :lol:
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. ”
Helen Keller

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Maggs
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by Maggs » 21 Mar 2015, 19:27

TO be sure to be sure...Thanks LH!

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godfather
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by godfather » 21 Mar 2015, 19:43

I enjoy a smile on my face. Keep going guys it's good for the soul!

:icon_biggrin: :icon_biggrin: :icon_biggrin:
The devil whispered, “You cannot withstand the storm“ and I replied: “I am the storm!”.....Unknown.

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lighthouse
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by lighthouse » 21 Mar 2015, 19:52

Soon after O'Shaughnessy clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office.

When O'Shaughnessy returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if it was bad news.' To be shure it was, Boss, 'he replied, 'I just found out from Ireland that my mother died earlier this morning.'

'Gosh, that's awful, 'replied the foreman, 'Do you want the rest of the day off?'
'No, 'replied O'Shaughnessy. ' I'll finish the day out.'

About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him in the office. This time when O'Shaughnessy returned he looked twice as glum, and the foreman asked if everything was alright.

'Bejeezuz Boss, its even worse news. That was my brother, and his mother died today too!'
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. ”
Helen Keller

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Betty
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by Betty » 22 Mar 2015, 08:10

:heeheehee :heeheehee :heeheehee

Love those Irish Jokes.
A rose by any other name...............

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grandduke
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by grandduke » 22 Mar 2015, 11:55

Betty i always believed Essex was blue ribbon country (tory) :thinking:
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”
George Bernard Shaw

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godfather
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by godfather » 22 Mar 2015, 20:55

Enjoyed those jokes again. Thanks GD and LH!

=D> =D> =D>
The devil whispered, “You cannot withstand the storm“ and I replied: “I am the storm!”.....Unknown.

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lighthouse
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by lighthouse » 22 Mar 2015, 21:46

Priest and the Rabbi

An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!" The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?" The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken." The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves." The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, "Well, what are we going to tell the police?" "Well," the priest says, "I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll be tellin' them I wasn't the one drinkin'."
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. ”
Helen Keller

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lighthouse
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by lighthouse » 22 Mar 2015, 21:49

Lassi says "Paddy we've been married along time. You're good lookin and I think you've slept with alotta women. I won't be mad but I would like to know how many if any. Paddy says. My lovely Lass you should know I never slept with anyone but you my Darlin. All the rest I was awake.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. ”
Helen Keller

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Betty
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Re: Ah the Irish.

Post by Betty » 23 Mar 2015, 08:21

grandduke wrote:Betty i always believed Essex was blue ribbon country (tory) :thinking:

Unfortunately Mr. Duke and I am sorry to say this but you are correct, the majority of MP's in Essex

are Conservatives with just three exceptions, in my constituency there has always been a Conservative MP except for a few years back when I

am proud to say my nephew served 2 terms as a Labour MP and then he lost his seat back to the Conservatives.

Apologies for going off thread but blame Mr.Duke :heeheehee :heeheehee
A rose by any other name...............

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