Random thoughts on age.

For all the budding and experienced humorists, poets and comical verse lovers!

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grandduke
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Joined: 01 Sep 2008, 20:13
Location: 1770 Agnes Water Central Queensland

Random thoughts on age.

Post by grandduke » 15 Apr 2015, 06:47

Received by email from a friend. :thinking:


Random thoughts as we age ...

- The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
- Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free
and three sizes smaller!
- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
- I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
- I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
- Old age is coming at a really bad time!
- Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things
I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
- I don't have white hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
- My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
- Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
- The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes" .
- I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
- Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
- Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't
understand anyway?
- Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
- Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
- At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
- Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad ! :heeheehee :heeheehee
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”
George Bernard Shaw

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Dreamweaver
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Posts: 8356
Joined: 16 Sep 2005, 15:46
Location: Victoria

Re: Random thoughts on age.

Post by Dreamweaver » 15 Apr 2015, 10:32

Very good, Dukey!
:heeheehee :lol: :lol: :lol:

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godfather
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Joined: 31 Aug 2005, 20:41
Location: Brisbane

Re: Random thoughts on age.

Post by godfather » 15 Apr 2015, 19:08

Great wisdom, some of which I already practise!


:wqoohoo :wqoohoo :wqoohoo
The devil whispered, “You cannot withstand the storm“ and I replied: “I am the storm!”.....Unknown.

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