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I've got a GPS

Posted: 01 Sep 2017, 15:38
by Biggdad
I have a little GPS
I've had it for a long time
It's better than the normal ones
My GPS is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice .

It fills me up with counseling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off. :good_one

Re: I've got a GPS

Posted: 01 Sep 2017, 17:36
by Perrorist
If my memory serves me well, that was written by Pam Ayres.

Re: I've got a GPS

Posted: 02 Sep 2017, 09:15
by terra
Men can read a road map upside down.....
Women can't......

I rest my case !
:heeheehee

Re: I've got a GPS

Posted: 02 Sep 2017, 18:06
by godfather
It appeared some time ago @ Motley Fool http://boards.fool.com/gps-poem-30634111.aspx
but also without acknowledgment to the author.
Almost certain it wasn't Pam Ayres.

Very true and I had a co-driver with similar verbal directions many years ago.
She lost her job when we divorced in the mid 80's!

:heeheehee :heeheehee :heeheehee

Re: I've got a GPS

Posted: 02 Sep 2017, 18:28
by Perrorist
Thanks, GF. I'd seen the poem before and it's in Pam Ayres style, but clearly it's not hers.

Re: I've got a GPS

Posted: 08 Sep 2017, 14:21
by Betty
terra wrote:
02 Sep 2017, 09:15
Men can read a road map upside down.....
Women can't......

I rest my case !
:heeheehee
I can remember years ago, driving with my then husband to a new place for us, we were getting very close when he said, look at the map and tell me how far so and so is from so and so..........

My answer................about an inch. :oops :heeheehee

Re: I've got a GPS

Posted: 08 Sep 2017, 21:37
by godfather
Betty :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
was that when you divorced?

:good_one :good_one :good_one

Re: I've got a GPS

Posted: 09 Sep 2017, 03:55
by Betty
Nah! we did manage to stay together a bit longer after that. :oops :heeheehee