MENSA INVITATIONAL ....... for a laugh hopefully

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lynny
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MENSA INVITATIONAL ....... for a laugh hopefully

Post by lynny » 15 Mar 2019, 16:18

Searching SPs for something else and came across this posted by Dawn in 2010.
Not much to laugh at in world affairs these days so I hope this may manage to raise a chuckle or two.


The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.


Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax-refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to begin with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. :lol:

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating.. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it. :icon-mrgreen:

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider-web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.



And the winners are:


1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp. :lol:

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency-vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist. :lol:

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. :lol:

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there. [ <-- this is an actual word?, not to
mention, "common"?]

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer-shorts worn by Jewish
men.

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Dreamweaver
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Re: MENSA INVITATIONAL ....... for a laugh hopefully

Post by Dreamweaver » 26 Mar 2019, 07:47

:good_one
I dream, therefore I am.

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Perrorist
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Re: MENSA INVITATIONAL ....... for a laugh hopefully

Post by Perrorist » 26 Mar 2019, 10:12

Those are really good.

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Biggdad
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Re: MENSA INVITATIONAL ....... for a laugh hopefully

Post by Biggdad » 26 Mar 2019, 11:36

:good_one :heeheehee :heeheehee

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