BLUE HILLS

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Moderator: Mahalia

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Mahalia
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BLUE HILLS

Post by Mahalia »

BLUE HILLS .. Maureen Clifford © The #ScribblyBarkPoet

He remembered the house by the lake.
They would take the train
each year to go and see Grandpa
who lived high up
on top of a mountain
out of reach of the high humidity.
Grandpa's house was in the blue hills.

Before sunrise, all was surrounded
by gauzy veils of mist.
The kookaburras laughter echoed -
and then slowly
peeping over the top of the mountain
the sun would appear
and the mist would depart.

He had heard people say
that Grandpa grew magic mushrooms,
but he had searched and never found one.
He thought that perhaps
the mermaid taking a dip in the lake
might know - but her face
was impassive, carved in stone.

Sometimes at night, when cooling showers fell
he would sneak out through the open doorway
and stand under the frangipani tree
breathing in its sweetness,
or get wet in the intermittent sprinkles of heavens tears.
He would listen to the night whisper its secrets
to the full moon and the fourth statue.

He was older now and Grandpa was gone.
Everything has to die - eventually.
The house near the lake was his now.
The mermaid was still swimming,
the fourth statue still held seed
for the birds that flocked every night
to roost in the Casuarina trees.

The red clouds in the sunset turned to purple,
the blue hills deepened to indigo,
flocks of lorikeets swooped, chattering noisily...
a cacophony of sound in a feathered rainbow
of red and green, gold and orange.
Heaven wept her tears softly and gently
and day was done...
The Scribbly Bark Poet
see some scribbles here - http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/

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Dreamweaver
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Re: BLUE HILLS

Post by Dreamweaver »

Delightful images in that, Mahalia, and there's a tone of realty about it too. Would a better title be "The House by the Lake"? But of course use what is relevant to you. The only thing I thought could be changed was the break between the second and third line. I envisaged -

He remembered the house by the lake.
They would take the train each year
to go and see Grandpa
who lived high up
on top of a mountain
out of reach of the high humidity.
Grandpa's house was in the blue hills.

Or

He remembered the house by the lake.
Each year they would take the train
to go and see Grandpa
who lived high up
on top of a mountain
out of reach of the high humidity.
Grandpa's house was in the blue hills.

But again, it's fine as it is. :happy-sunshine:
I dream, therefore I am.

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Mahalia
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Posts: 2243
Joined: 30 Sep 2009, 20:53
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Re: BLUE HILLS

Post by Mahalia »

Thanks Dreamy - I like both the suggestion for the title and for the first stanza and will change it to that :good_one
The Scribbly Bark Poet
see some scribbles here - http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/

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