What Mrs. Brown Saw
Sometimes I manage to do something a bit meaningful, but mostly it's just plain silly.
This one recently picked up a first prize in a poetry competition, (humorous section) but be warned,
the judge called it 'a bawdy parody', so it might not be to everyone's taste.
One of the silly ones.
What Mrs. Brown Saw
Leonie Parker ©
Bazza donned his old worn stubbies when he went to check the post
and he forewent any undies (it hits forty on the coast).
His old thongs weren’t double pluggers and they chose that day to pop,
leaving poor old Bazza no choice but to do the Aussie hop.
As he braved the red hot driveway, foot to foot, and side to side,
his spasmodic, swaying motion made his stubbies start to slide.
The elastic in the waistband, old, and now not tight enough,
meant that one false move and Bazza would be standing in the buff.
But he caught his errant stubbies with his hand before they fell
and he had his mail clutched tightly in his other hand as well.
Then he saw his next door neighbour, Mrs Brown (she’s eighty-three),
watching closely from the shelter of her Jacaranda tree.
She said “How ya doin’, Bazza? It’s good drinking weather mate,”
and she offered him a coldie from across the garden gate
but our Bazza isn’t stupid he put down the mail then he
took advantage of her offer - with the hand that he had free.
Now young Bazza was real thirsty so that coldie went down well
but he still had half a bottle when she waved and said farewell
and because he is a gentleman, an Aussie chevalier,
he just waved back with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his beer.
Mrs. Brown got quite an eyeful when his shorts began to slip
and they wrapped around his ankles making poor old Bazza trip.
When his feet went out from under him he landed with a plop
and he might have lost his dignity – but didn’t spill a drop.
Mrs. Brown’s old eyes grew wider; she gave Bazza such a wink
as she beckoned him ‘come hither’ he damn near swore off the drink,
but he pulled himself together though the thought still makes him pale.
Now he’s wearing boots and long johns when he goes to check the mail.